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PLEASURE IS PRINCIPLE: Double Penetration Comes With A Double Standard That Privileges Penis But Shames Vagina

girlessence octobre 21, 2021
sexual utensil

Source: Riou / Getty

 

A few months ago, I saw a video of Jason Momoa and Yahya Abdul-Mateen circulating on Twitter. My immediate response was to “paint me blue and call me Thomas,” because that was a train I’d like to board—respectfully. 

Unapologetically, I tweeted those words. Yet, paused for a quick second before sending not because I didn’t mean it, but rather there were people following me; specifically men who I was actively entertaining and I was a little concerned about their response.

For context, a train is when multiple people have sex with one person back-to-back and my imagination did not hesitate to project a full double penetrative scene in my mind. Double penetration is a sexual act in which one person experiences penetration at the same time, from multiple entry points or orifices (anus, vaginal or mouth). One person is at the receiving end of penis, gag balls, anal beads and even thumbs because there is no length or girth requirement for the object of your liking. 

A hoe can dream right? 

 

Most of my days are already spent multitasking. Packing lunch, checking homework, drafting reports and facilitating zoom calls. I haven’t mastered it yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t handle more than one thing at a time. So what’s the problem with wanting to apply that in a position that would actually serve me for a change?

Truthfully, Jason and Yahya weren’t even the first time I’ve played this scenario out in my mind. There’s plenty of bookmarks and incognito tabs on my laptop for those moments I’d imagine the endless possibilities of pentetrative sex. I’m not alone.  Double penetration videos are also particularly well-liked by women — in fact, they’re 89 percent more popular among women viewers than they are among men, according to PornHub. So where are these 89 percent and are y’all trying to be friends? 

Seriously, because even with those numbers, double penetration is still a conversation I have to have with one or two friends outside of the group text because not everyone has overcome the stank associated with the paired pleasure yet. Somehow, the idea of me literally having all the things is a taboo and as someone who has inserted many objects, in many places, my greatest discomfort thus far is initiating this conversation with my partners. 

Requesting double penetration from the men I’ve slept with has often left me pierced only by sexism and stigma. Specifically, the men I’ve asked have offered me only a look of disgust and claimed they respect me too much to even consider such a thing. Which is bull—shit. 

The first few times it was unclear where and how I requested to be disrespected, but it was later that I was able to identify their reaction as a biased standard they deemed acceptable based on my sex. Somehow, the pleasure upon multiple entry points strips us pussy owning people of the purity that sexism insists on projecting which is both unwarranted and untrue.   

However, double penetration comes with a double standard, as it is something that only privileges the egos of men and shames the libidos of women. When men initiate the act, they’re in charge, feeding their bias and sexism. When women initiate the act, it prioritizes their pleasure and autonomy which goes against everything that sexism and bias leans on. 

If those men actually cared about me and even respected me as they claimed, their response to my request would’ve come from a place of personal limits and not societal boundaries. My partners can always say no to whatever ideas I bring to the bedroom, but if their dissent is coming from a place of oppression then there’s something to be addressed. 

But don’t be fooled, I’ve ran into a similar obstacle with the women I’ve slept with. Those issues were mostly grounded in the erasure of bisexuals and the stigma that comes with that part of my identity. 

I refuse to wait until we dismantle sexism or for bisexual visibility to get my nut. 

Sometimes, the coochie has to compromise. Thankfully, there are options; double penetration can be achieved with a range of toys and objects. The only requirement is consent and a quality cleaner that is suitable for the specific surface (latex,silicone, metal) of the toy you’re using. 

Double penetration can happen with multiple partners, one partner and my favorite—solo play. There’s something empowering about being able to pleasure myself multiple ways. 

I’ve included some really great toys from Black-owned sex stores to prepare you to dismantle misogyny one orgasm at a time. These options can be used with partners of any gender or gender non-conforming identity as well as solo sessions. 

 

B-Vibe Snug and Tug Ring Plug 

“Snug & Tug builds off the popular B-Vibe Snug Plug Collection, which provides a weighted butt plug with a sense of fullness. Snug & Tug incorporates a genital ring, which supports enhanced stimulation to multiple erogenous zones as the ring produces longer, stronger erections. The weighted internal plug simultaneously stimulates the anal canal and prostate. The combination of delayed climax from the ring, with intensified sensation from internal/ prostate stimulation, is mind-blowingly perfect for partner sex or to enjoy discreetly for stimulating extended wear.’

 

Happy Rabbit Butt Plug 

“This anal plug has a slim, curved, smooth, silky body, with a perfect rounded tip for a comfortable and safe insertion. At the base there is a rabbit tail with hair of a bright and striking color.”

The Gag Is… 

“The rubber ball sits behind your sub’s teeth, ensuring silence as you go about your BDSM business. A leather strap fastens at the nape of the neck via the lusty buckle, and there are various eyeholes in the strap, making the gag suitable for most sizes.”

 

Just Between Us 

“Shaped for shared pleasure, Just Between Us is a wearable double-ended vibrating strapless strap-on, designed to fit snugly inside you and feel like an extension of your own body. Connect with your partner without the hassle of a harness and share your pleasure. This vibe can also be used for those that enjoy double penetration. The removable bullet can be used as a massager all on its own, making this two toys in one!”

We Vibe Ditto 

“Ditto by We-Vibe is a vibrating plug for couples new to anal exploration. Ditto stimulates with gentle pressure and rumbly vibrations, and it can be controlled by the remote or the free We-Connect app. Slim and made of smooth silicone, Ditto’s flexible neck and small size make it comfortable to wear and fun to explore with. Now you can enjoy the pleasures of anal play with the added feature of rumbly vibrations. Ditto has 10+ vibration modes which can be controlled with the remote or free We-Connect app. We don’t want to restrict your play so we made Ditto 100% waterproof, making it easy to enjoy anywhere and simple to clean. Convenient and eco-friendly, Ditto is rechargeable. Charge time of 90 minutes gets you up to 2 hours of play on a single charge.”

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