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“Singers today don’t sing like they used to.”
How many generations have made this claim? Maybe most singers today don’t perform vocal gymnastics, but they possess perspective. I’m glad they don’t sing like they used to. Songs of the past were filled with such heartache or utter euphoria. I experienced so much pain vicariously, I didn’t need to experience it on my own. And I never felt swept off my feet so much that I ignored red flags. Instead, I anticipate the bullet and dodge it.
When I was seven years old, my family bought our first CD player. Both my parents and I visited Crazy Eddie’s, a famous appliance store in New York City, where the salesman convinced us you could put peanut butter on the CD, and it would still play. Looking back, I wonder if that ass was trying to trick a seven-year-old to try. But he let me pick our first CD. I chose Whitney Houston. She was all over the radio back then. I knew my purchase was unexpected for a seven-year-old, but what other choices did I really have? I was enamored with Whitney. I would play the CD and imagine the music videos for each song as I laid on the living room floor next to our new stereo.
When Whitney asked where do broken hearts go, I didn’t want to find out. Her vocals tread the line between hopeful and hurt. Desperately needing the love of a man who has rejected her, makes her seem pathetic. By the end of the song, she’s convinced by just looking in his eyes, he really wants her. The complexity of the narrative is not lost on me. But still. Whitney’s vocal gymnastics trumps all the sappiness, though.
Anita Baker, another infatuation of mine, told a different story. Through Anita’s songs I was convinced I would never find a man who would save me from the inferno that is my life. I had a hard time understanding Anita’s lyrics back then. But as I matured, I realized it’s not just the way she sings but what she was singing that was hard for my adolescent mind to fathom. No fairy tale prince? As a little girl, that’s what I was being programmed to believe in.
Between Whitney and Anita, I witnessed the full trajectory of romantic relationships. I’ve never given them that much weight. I know how the stories end. And to be honest, they typically end with me saying goodbye because I’m not willing to believe in them when they’re nothing like I’ve ever heard.
As the musical landscape changed, the choices for little girls like me expanded, and so did my level of sentimentality.
Brandy was young, talented, and respectable. Her music wasn’t gimmicky like prior songs targeted to young folks. It was hip. She had a team of talented producers working with her who were probably men using her as a front-girl for promoting masculinist propaganda. My favorite song on her debut album Brandy is “Sunny Day” where she remarks a sunny day without you is just another 24 that passes by. Could we not enjoy a sunny day without a dude? That’s exactly what dudes would have you think. But it was the vibe for me.
At 16, when Brandy’s album was released, I was already going to nightclubs. But I tried to hold on to my innocence. When older men would try to talk to me, I would be honest about my age and frown on men in their 20s still interested.
It was at an intimate concert venue that I encountered Monica for the first time. She was part of Rowdy Records, and I can’t remember who from the label was performing that night, but I clearly recall Monica, another girl about my age, being out late on a school night too. When Monica and Brandy got together to sing “The Boy is Mine,” I couldn’t help but be a bit annoyed that they were fighting over a guy, even though the guy in the video was Mekhi Phifer.
R&B songs have misguided so many girls for so long. So, when Jhene Aiko sings about how much her man appreciates her sex, I feel redeemed. When Summer Walker painstakingly sings about shit she never asked a guy to do for her, I feel seen. And when SZA sings that she got back at her neglectful man by sleeping with his friend, I’m like, did she read my diary?
And while this new cohort of R&B singers claps back at men with real shit that women think and go through with men, sometimes it’s just responding to toxicity in relationships. But when I listen to Amber Mark, I realize there could be another way.
The way Amber Mark approaches the topic of romantic relationships is empowering. She speaks of her desire, worth and authority. And she sings about things other than love, like accomplishments and living the good life. The 27-year-old singer, songwriter and producer is in control of the narrative she shares. And it’s a narrative good for girls of any age. Amber’s Jamaican and German heritage, and time spent in India with her late mother, affords her a progressive perspective. Wise beyond her years, she spits lyrics like, “Do it for the feeling, not for the paycheck,” which can resonate with people of any persuasion
I encountered Amber when I was watching music videos one night. The video for “Competition” is impressive as it takes direction from Solange’s aesthetic. I couldn’t help but notice Amber’s endearing awkwardness as she danced around in high fashion gowns. I was intrigued. I had been hipped to her on Facebook by an informed jazz station DJ. So, I investigated her some more. To be honest, her music didn’t hit me immediately. I listened a couple times. And then I couldn’t stop listening.
Amber Mark ‘Competition’ Directors Cut from cara stricker on Vimeo.
Amber isn’t a vocal gymnast. Actually, it seems like she’s conscious of her voice. But not only does she write lyrics that give women agency over their sexual prowess, the music she creates from scratch is the actual draw. Her funky retro sound fits in with the growing Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak’s canon.
Once I ventured down the Amber Mark rabbit hole, I fell in love. I spent time watching her music videos. And even the low-budget videos were high in artistic quality. Her Instagram, @instagramber, where you might see SZA’s likes, is so down to earth. She shows us how she builds songs from a beat in her mind to layering vocals while doing it in her undies.
Though she’s only released singles and EPs, her first full-length album will be out in January accompanied by a world tour. And she’s ready for the world.
When people say music ain’t like it used to be, that might be a good thing. Women singers today are more often writing their own lyrics without a team of men guiding them and us into disillusionment. We hear honesty. We hear how women really deal with relationships whether it’s congratulating the power of their pussies or simply asking for clarity in their dealings.
As a forty-something-year-old woman, who has spent most of her life looking for an amazingly sweet love, I feel I’ve found an appropriate soundtrack for the life, not solely the love life, I want. And I’m optimistic that if I can sing it, my personal fairy tale will finally come true.
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