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Yung Miami says she likes golden showers, and she DGAF about how any of us feel about it. And, babyyyyy, I love that for her.
In case you missed it, on the latest episode of Caresha, Please, a talk show hosted by Yung Miami of City Girls fame, the rapper-turned-TV personality answers questions from her drinking card game Resha Roulette while taking shots with the longstanding queen of southern rap, Trina. Yung Miami was ordered, by the card she pulled, to take a shot if she likes golden showers, to which she told Trina, “I do… It just do something to me.” I wasn’t surprised that the young star, who is known for rapping quite explicitly about sex, enjoyed this kind of kink, but I was surprised that she was so forthright about it on her show.
Golden showers, which are sometimes called “water sports” or “water works” in the kink community, is a sexual act that includes the use of urine. Contrary to what many believe, it’s a pretty safe sexual act that can happen when one’s sexual partner pees directly on them or when that partner pees someplace around them. The sex act can be considered a humiliation kink, or even a kink that plays out between a couple exploring dom and sub power play. Some enjoy golden showers because of the sensation they get when warm urine touches their skin, others are turned on by the audible sound of someone peeing. Either way the experience comes, we are not accustomed to Black folks (and especially not Black women) admitting it’s the kind of sex they enjoy.
Many Black women are turned off by the idea of water sports, because we believe that urine is waste and it belongs in the toilet and not on our bodies. Black women are navigating a society (and sometimes—sadly—a community) that already seems to take pleasure in dehumanizing and humiliating us every day all day, so most of us have no desire to experience what may be considered humiliation in the bedroom. It’s not, necessarily, that Black women don’t enjoy water sports like “squirting” for instance, or that Black women don’t like being submissive in the bedroom (e.g., choking, spanking and otherwise dominant and rough sex). There’s just something many of us can’t get into when it comes to straight up being peed on, which is absolutely fine. The gag, though, is that Yung Miami didn’t ask anyone to explore this kink, she simply said she likes it. So why all the fuss?
Of course, when the clip of Yung Miami sharing she likes golden showers made its rounds on the internet, folks had plenty to say—much of which kink-shamed our girl. Like, okay, the Pee Diddy jokes were kind of funny, but are we really wagging our fingers at folks for liking certain kinds of sex in 2023?
Can’t we just think, “not for me,” and keep scrolling? Do we have to connect Black women’s value or worth to how we get down in the bedroom? Are Black women not “bad bitches” if they enjoy a little sub play behind closed doors or maybe in front of an audience if they are also exhibitionist?
The reality is sexual fantasy and sexual play should offer a safe space for Black women to take on roles in the bedroom that they might not get to experience in their everyday lives. A lot of powerful people enjoy being submissive during sex play, and Black women are no different. I appreciate this pop culture moment for creating visibility around non-traditional sexual desires; it may help some folks discover a new kink or at least understand that we don’t have to hide or feel shame around what we like sexually.
It’s the propensity to demand that Black women hide that annoys me—If I’m honest—and I don’t care what it is that we are being asking to hide. Black women should be free to talk about sex, what we like and what we don’t like. We should be able to be open and enthusiastic about wanting whatever kind of sex we desire, and not pretend like our sexual needs and desires are secondary or unimportant. The idea that sex is something that happens to us, instead of it being something that we choose and direct, is the foundation of the hetero orgasm gap. And fear around being sexually open and autonomous can be the source of sexual manipulation and other kinds of sexual discord. Being sexually liberated also means being sexually empowered, and the more Black women see examples of what sexual liberation looks like, the more we can find our way towards it.
After all, all freedoms are connected. When I took this topic to social media, many chimed in on whether they supported Yung Miami being so open about the sex play she likes or whether they believe she should keep that information to herself. I received lots of great food for thought. One comment from mental health practitioner Sali Butler, resonated most deeply with me:
“Chile nobody wants Black women to enjoy anything and especially not sex. Our oppression relies on us not CENTERING ourselves ANYWHERE! If we start enjoying sex, exploring our bodies, figuring out what pleases us, and prioritizing our orgasms, things will change.”
A word! This is what I support. I don’t care about how much pee excites Yung Miami, but I’m grateful that she is open and unapologetic about what she likes sexually —which might make room for other Black women to do the same.
Yucking other people’s sexual yums is yet another thing that we need to leave in 2022. We are sexually free baddies who want what we want, like what we like, and feel no shame in saying so out loud.
It’s up.
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Josie Pickens is an educator, organizer, writer and pleasure activist. Follow her musings on Instagram at @jonubian
Source: Courtesy of Josie Pickens / Josie Pickens
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