Why We Shouldn’t Have Resolutions For The New Year, According To A Clinical Psychologist

By Bianca Lambert· Updated January 17, 2023

For many, the new year means setting resolutions that chuck out old habits and bring updated life>Statista reporting that Americans’ top three New Year’s resolutions for 2023 are: to exercise more, eat healthier, and lose weight. We love seeing people want to live a healthier life>clinical psychologist, professor, and scientist Raquel Martin, Ph.D., says the choice to adopt—or not adopt—a resolution isn’t black and white. Instead, she says there are many shades of gray.

“People shouldn’t feel limited to start new things at the beginning of the year,” she tells ESSENCE. “One of the reasons it might not be helpful for some people to decide to do it at the beginning of the year depends on their reasoning. Is it because they feel forced to?” She notes that the rise in society making resolutions and setting new goals at this time of year can pressure us into setting goals before we’ve been given time to think about what we want.

“For example, for people who have difficulties with managing the behaviors of eating, the beginning of the year is the worst time for them, mental healthwise.” She attributes this to the inundation of ads and marketing for health clubs and weight loss apps. So how do we carve our true internal desires for lasting change in the new year? For starters, she wants us to give up our all-or-nothing mindset. Martin says it doesn’t matter when you start. “Exclusionary diets aren’t healthy in the first place,” she emphasizes.

Now let’s get into action-based advice for making small but mighty changes throughout the year, instead of resolutions.

Think about your goals.

Before you think about your wants and needs of the year, Martin wants us to be sure these goals are ours—meaning the external stimuli are made quiet, and our internal wants are amplified. “External factors that impede upon you doing stuff don’t last for long,” she tells us. “This is why many of us fall off. So if you find yourself at a point of regrouping, stop and ask: ‘Was it ever really your goal?.’ When you miss a goal, something was wrong with the goal,” Martin tells ESSENCE. “It’s not solely you. You need to be dedicated, but is the goal feasible?”

Instead of resolutions, try guidelines.

“I prefer guidelines,” Martin shares. “[Versus] specific rules because when it comes to control and behavior, no one likes to be told what to do even when you’re telling yourself what to do.” However, it must be noted setting attainable guidelines is all about asking yourself questions. For example, what does eating healthier mean to you? What does weight loss mean to you? Is it to look better?

“To look better, how,” Martin asks. For example, if your goal is to lower your blood pressure, change the amount of fried food you’re eating and add a walk into your daily routine instead of leaning into extreme workouts because you likely won’t keep it up. The change might feel slow, but this will likely lead to long-term success. “You’ve got to know yourself and be honest with yourself,” Martin says. “There’s just as much strength in knowing what you can’t do as knowing what you can do. Then you can set yourself up for success. It’s not a deficit-based thing to say I can’t do this. It’s a strength to say I cannot do this aspect and to be able to make it better.”

Be kind to yourself.

For Black women, taking care of ourselves isn’t easy. “Racism-related stress at home and in the workplace disrupts sleep, increases anxiety and depression, and decreases our motivation to do anything, let alone work out,” Martin tells ESSENCE. “So you can look at the impact of being a Black woman in America making less money and having to do more. There’s a wage gap. Which not only means certain people have more money to invest in their overall health, but they also have more time.”

For example, the National Partnership For Women & Families found the median wages for Black women in the United States are $36,303 per year, compared to median salaries of $57,005 annually for white, non-Hispanic men, equaling a $20,702 yearly wage gap.

So, if there’s a day you’re just not feeling it, that is OK. You can start anew tomorrow, don’t put more pressure on yourself trying to reach resolutions and lofty goals, especially during the beginning of the new year.