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BREAKING NEWS: As A Black Woman, I Just Don’t Think About Queen Elizabeth

Queen Elizabeth II Dies At Balmoral Castle

Source: Leon Neal / Getty

After a seven decades-long reign over Britain and its outliers, Queen Elizabeth succumbed to old age. She was 96-years-old, according to Bossip. She is survived by a long line of Brits who are related to the matriarch by blood or through marriage or both, allegedly. I heard it is a sad day in all of London.

—And if I’m allowed to be honest, I went to the store today to get some oxtails and was shooketh when I saw they were $12.99 per pound. I squinted for a minute, then scratched my head in disbelief because when TF did tails—the bony, skinned tail of a beef animal—become such a commodity?

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I mean, I know oxtails are the most sought after entree on the menu at just about every Jamaican restaurant from here to Kingston to Brixton, but dammit, these things weren’t going to cook themselves. I’d have to clean, brine, season, brown and stew myself. According to the calculations, I’d be paying to do my own labor.

Oxtail

Source: Ida Harris / iOne

So, I did like any smart Black woman might do: I sifted through three rows of packaged meat and gave up. I had decided that 17 bony oxtails for $56 wasn’t even worth it. I spinned on my heels and made my way to the exit … and then to the car with like two bags of groceries. 

Fifty-six dollars and four and a half pounds of oxtails later, all I could come up with is that like Queen Elizabeth, this inflation shit has gotten old—and also needs to be laid to rest. 

That’s all I got.

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